Ooh yess, it takes a village.
If you’ve heard this phrase before, it may have sounded like just another wise saying. But the moment you think about starting a family, step into pregnancy, or hold your baby in your arms, it suddenly becomes real.
The truth is, no matter how strong, independent, or organized you are, motherhood is not meant to be a solo journey. From pre-pregnancy planning to navigating the delivery room, and finally adjusting to life after birth, building your support village around you makes all the difference.
Let’s talk about why your village matters during pregnancy and motherhood, and how to build one for each phase of the journey.
Phase 1: Laying the Groundwork During Preconception
Before you even see those two lines on a pregnancy test, your village can already be in motion. This stage is often filled with questions, planning, and sometimes anxiety.
Why a Support Village Matters Before Pregnancy
Before pregnancy, your village can offer emotional support, practical advice, and encouragement. Whether you’re dealing with fertility challenges, budgeting for the baby, or just asking, “Am I really ready for this?” having trusted people around you gives you perspective and reassurance.
Who to Include in Your Preconception Support Village
- A supportive partner or spouse who is ready to walk the journey with you.
- A preconception care team to guide you on pre-pregnancy checkups, supplements, and lifestyle changes.
- Close friends or family members who you can talk to about your fears, expectations, or even excitement.
- Mentors who have walked the parenting road before you and can share what they wish they had known.
How to Build Support Before Pregnancy
This is a good time to start conversations with your partner and family about roles and expectations. Join online or physical communities for women trying to conceive, and if needed, seek counseling to help manage stress and emotions.
Phase 2: The Heart of the Journey
Pregnancy is often called a miracle, but let’s be honest, it’s also a rollercoaster. The cravings, the nausea, the exhaustion, and the countless “Is this normal?” moments can leave you feeling overwhelmed. This is where your village comes in even stronger.
Why a Support Village Matters During Pregnancy
A supportive circle during pregnancy helps you feel less isolated and more confident. They remind you that what you’re going through is part of a bigger picture and that you’re not alone in the process.
Who to Include in Your Pregnancy Support Village
- Your partner: to hold your hand at appointments, attend classes with you, or just bring you that odd-hour craving snack.
- A doctor, midwife, or doula: medical professionals who can provide reassurance and expertise.
- Family and friends: to step in with practical help like meals, errands, or just keeping you company.
- Fellow expectant mothers: Sharing experiences and getting reassurance from other pregnant mums at the same stage can be so comforting.
Related: 9 Ways Dads (and Partners) Can Support During Pregnancy
Building Your Support Village During Pregnancy
Don’t be afraid to delegate. Ask for help with household chores, groceries, or even just a listening ear when hormones hit hard.
This is also the time to join antenatal classes where you not only learn but also connect with other parents-to-be. Consider joining online or physical communities for women trying to conceive, and if needed, seek counseling to help manage stress and emotions.
Phase 3: The Fourth Trimester and Beyond
You’ve made it through pregnancy and delivery, congratulations! But now comes the postpartum period, often called the “fourth trimester.” This stage can be beautiful but also tough, with sleepless nights, physical recovery, and emotional changes all rolled into one. Your village here is essential.
Why a Support Village Matters After Pregnancy
Postpartum life can feel overwhelming. Between feeding schedules, diaper changes, and your own healing, it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning.
Your village steps in to hold you steady, so you don’t burn out. Importantly, a village also helps in spotting and supporting you through postpartum depression or anxiety, which is more common than most realize.
Who to Include in Your Postnatal Support Village
- Family or friends who can come over to babysit, cook, clean, or simply give you time to nap.
- A supportive partner who shares night duties or simply listens when the tears come.
- Healthcare providers, both for your baby’s checkups and your own postpartum care.
- A mothers’ group or community (online or offline) where you can share what you’re going through without judgment.
- Mental health professionals if you feel weighed down emotionally.
How to Build Your Support Village After Childbirth
Be intentional about letting people in. Many mothers struggle with the idea that asking for help makes them look weak. But remember: letting others support you doesn’t make you less of a mother; it makes you stronger.
Create a simple “support plan” with your partner, family, or friends, outlining how they can best step in after delivery. Sometimes it’s not about grand gestures, small acts like someone bringing you food or folding laundry can mean the world.
How to Nurture Your Support Village Across All Stages
Building friendships for a support village can be overwhelming with all the Ts and Is you have to cross and dot. Not to mention that you might already be overwhelmed from the preconception and pregnancy exhaustion. Here are a few things you can adopt to nurture your village without abandoning yourself:
- Say yes to help. You don’t have to do it all.
- Be honest. Let your circle know what you need, be it company, advice, or rest.
- Reciprocate when you can. Villages work on mutual support; pour into others when you’re able.
- Diversify your village. Include family, friends, professionals, and community groups.
- Lean on faith or spirituality if that anchors you. For many mums, church or fellowship groups become a huge part of their support system.
Join Our Online Community for Pregnancy and Motherhood Support
Motherhood is one of the most transformative journeys you will ever walk through. But whether you’re still preparing for pregnancy, navigating those nine months, or adjusting to life with your newborn, one thing remains true: ooh yess, it takes a village.
Your support village may not look like anyone else’s; it could be two people or ten, family or friends, near or far. What matters most is knowing you don’t have to do this alone. Build your village, nurture it, and let it nurture you right back.
Malaica’s antenatal and postnatal care programs include an online support community of expectant mums and newborn mothers who share experiences, tips, and reassure each other. This can offer you the peer-to-peer support and community you need to navigate pregnancy and motherhood.
Curious how Malaica can empower your your pregnancy and motherhood journey? Call or send us a message at +254 746 610643 to learn about our personalized maternity care.